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List: 18 dreams Peter K plans to fulfill after leaving GWU



George Washington University


- satire

List: 18 dreams Peter K plans to fulfill after leaving GWU

Peter K has done a lot in his time at GW. What's he going to do now?

Mackenzie White


1. Finally hang out with the cast of Entourage

2. Continue to garden more phallic shaped plants

3. Get that hunting trip lined up with Don Jr.

4. Achieve the rank of "Operating Thetan" at his local Scientology church

6. Become a hair gel model for Gucci : Scandinavia

7. If that doesn't pan out, become as a Men’s Warehouse model

8. Promote AXE body spray to old men going through mid-life crises

9. Hold elementary school kids by their ankles and shaking them for the money out of their pocket

10. Coin a new catch phrase like #keepingupwithkonwerski #theKsoniceyoulllikeitthrice

11. Ask out Kellyanne Conway

12. Read his hate mail

13. Attend furry convention and finally move on from his terrible breakup with the George mascot suit

14. Try to find purpose without kissing Ol' Papa Knapp’s ass

15. Burrow for winter to reconnect with his prairie dog family #RaisedByGophers

16. Fight the wolverine that killed his father and take its oily pelt as a trophy of his manhood

17. Reincorperate his Patronus, "The Noid," into Dominos advertising

18. Count his money in singles from profiting off of young, vulnerable and poor students desperate for education.