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Hurricane Matthew sweeps in as third party candidate



George Washington University


- satire

Hurricane Matthew sweeps in as third party candidate

Mackenzie White


MIAMI- A new movement has begun as more and more voters have come out to endorse Hurricane Matthew in his recently announced run for the presidency. His plan to “blow away the competition” has gained significant traction within the vital swing state of Florida.
Hurricane Matthew has had his eye on Cuba and, in wanting to demonstrate his strict stance against its government, stated this weekend that come hell or high water, he will not support a Communist country. Being that Cuban Americans in the Miami-Dade County have the ability to heavily affect the vote, it is helpful to Matthew’s campaign that they have responded positively to his stern diplomacy.
“It’s shocking the kind of gale-force impact [Matthew] was able to make over the course of one weekend,” said Carrie Rodriguez, an undecided voter.
Matthew also made another controversial decision in openly distancing himself from Donald Trump by specifically attacking his Palm Beach home, throwing coconuts and palm fronds at the residence.
“I may have my own walls, but that does not mean I believe in building more to keep people out. I believe in openness, transparency, and liberty. That is why I have released my Category 5 point plan online in which I discuss the five most pressing issues to this country. My eye is set towards the future. You can find it on my website,” Matthew said.
Many believe that he has the power to tear through this country’s landscape. Hurricane Matthew has continued to move further north to inform voters of his power and his plan to get this country turning, or spiraling, towards the right direction.
“I like his strength. He’s a force of nature to be reckoned with,” Adam Jackson, a former Bernie Sanders supporter, said.
It is rumored that Matthew will announce his running mate to be Tropical Storm Nicole within the next week.