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The Signs as GW Housing

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George Washington University

culture

The Signs as GW Housing

What dorm are you?

Madison Yerke

4.2.17

Fall semester is looming over us as we spend our precious Cherry Blossom spring moments camped inside Gelman, trying to survive the semester’s end. For most of us, we are planning our fall class schedule and having existential crises over our futures.

The one exciting moment about registering for classes is setting up your sweet housing assignments for the next year. Dorm life is important; it’s where you will be living for the next nine months with people you may or may not enjoy. Thus, without further ado, I’ve made this guide to help all of you astrology-crazed millennials pick your housing, based on the signs.

ARIES:

Listen. We all know you’re the aggressive, attention-seeking, angry students. You’re also probably too busy swiping through Tinder to read this. For all of these reasons, you’re awarded with South Hall. Not only are you on top of the power struggle, but your high expectation and dedications require you to have the best of the best (even if it’s the only senior dorm available).

TAURUS:

As the natural athlete that must have the best of the best at all times, you’re tokened with Amsterdam for the beautiful view of HelWell and the pretty kickass rooms. Basically, you’re underrated. Possibly the hidden gem of the signs. You are most comfortable with the familiar and need a natural setting.

GEMINI:

I House. The sounds of Virginia Ave are bound to distract you from your work every night, but good thing the distraction only fuels your sense of excitement and curious nature about the world. You are a tad energetic, so there is no better way to be the social butterflies you were meant to be than by coexisting with athletes, frats, and the other randos in this interesting dorm.

CANCER:

Munson is perfect for Cancers, because let’s face it, as emotional and caring individuals, you need to have the comfort of Whole Foods, Sweetgreen, and Roti right across the street. Your artsy personalities and aesthetics can make those studios in Munson look like one featured on an episode of House Hunters.

LEO:

You are basically the epitome of this school: wealthy, exuberant, and luxurious. Similar to Taurus, you want nothing but the best, but to the extent that very few others can have. This is why you’re set up with District House. New, clean, and top of the line. It’s not bad to be this person, you just like to show it all off.

VIRGO:

You virgins you. You’re reliable, honest, trustworthy people with a shy side. We can count on you for almost anything and know you won’t spill the deets. You’re kinda like Madison Hall freshman year. Best location, surrounded by good people, and wise beyond your years.

LIBRA:

You’re charming, but basic. You’re liked by most people however sometimes you feel the need to want to outdo others. This is why you’re right in the middle of Madison and Thurston: you’re Potomac House. Always within reach of others, but sometimes not close enough to them.

SCORPIO:

You’re always on the go. You’re nonstop. You’re invincible. You’re Thurston.

SAGITTARIUS:

1959 E Street because you lot are probably the only ones that even took notice of the housing assignments over there. Sagittarians pay close attention to detail and have extraordinary taste. You are likely the Tumblr artists studying at Corcoran or just need a better view of the Washington Monument at sunset.

CAPRICORN:

You’re a mystery. Literally. Your closed-off personality and ability to be so self-reliant has got you cooped up in Mitchell all the way on 18th. You don’t mind it though, you get an extra sense of planning your schedule based off the bathrooms you try to avoid.

AQUARIUS:

You like your independence a little too much. A quiet place to lay in a hammock and read for your UW class? Yep, you’ve got it. You are the Vern. I’ve lumped you all together so all you Aquarians can live peaceful, philosophical college lives over on Foxhall.

PISCES:

Maybe it’s because the only Pisces I know is a femme, but 2109 F Street is just for you. Sorry guys. Y’all are awesome! Sensitive and bubbly, you need your space sometimes, but still know how to get involved in your own niche ways, even if you can also be forgotten…